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‘Zoobilee Zoo’ Was Weird as Hell (Even by Kids’ TV Standards)

“Zooble” is shoved into random words like the script was written by Pushy Smurf, then polished by Ned Flanders. One episode reassured all the impressionable young viewers that witches weren’t real – and then showed them how to summon a witch, and had said witch torment all the animals by turning them into, uh, other animals? The theme song includes the oh-so evocative phrase “as bright as the brightest blue,” which, while being technically accurate, I guess, kind of cements the effort levels here.

Only about 60 episodes were filmed in the mid-80s, but it ran for two decades, furthering the sense of being trapped in an endless acid trip. Even worse, the episodes were all filmed at once, over the course of a couple of months. The actors were sequestered for the entire production, which might explain the big “oh God, shoot me” energy that radiates off some scenes.

Zoobilee Zoo, Hallmark Properties

When even Ben Vereen looks like he’s coked out of his mind trying to get through it, you know you’re in trouble.

Despite its lofty goals, Zoobilee Zoo is a mostly forgotten program, a footnote in the annals of children’s television history – an exclusion attributed in large part, and even larger irony, to the show’s lack of merchandise and action figures. Not that the show doesn’t still have some fans.

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