CNN Has A 'Doomsday Video' For The End Of The World
Continue Reading BelowAdvertisement In all its eeriness, Turner has made it clear that the task of airing it will be left to the last surviving CNN employee, implying it will take their verdict to declare the end of days. But just how that decision would be confirmed remains unsolved. Calling it quits on humanity would be no easy choice, so no pressure to the last bearer of bad news. You’re right to ponder how such an artifact became available to the public, let alone genera…
Read more7 Ways Coca-Cola's Cocaine Connection Goes Deeper Than We Realized
Continue Reading BelowAdvertisement Coca-Cola and Stepan had used their growing political power to become the only companies in the world legally allowed to cultivate, import, and use coca leaves. This meant that while there could be other “cola” drinks on the market, there could only ever be one “coca” drink. Coca-Cola’s global monopoly and trademark was secure. 3The Secret Coca Plantation In HawaiiAfter the UN treaty passed, Coca-Cola executives had a realization: If they c…
Read moreThe Day That Had No News: April 18, 1930
In our nightmare world of doom-scrolling and 24-hour news cycles, the idea of a slow news day feels like unrealistic bliss. For BBC radio news listeners on April 18, 1930, though, there was, in fact, no news. Seriously, the news announcer just said there was nothing to report on.The lack of news happened during the 8:45 p.m. broadcast (or 20:45, since we’re dealing with the British). This was intended to be a 15-minute news broadcast before the start of an airing of Richard …
Read more5 Nice-Sounding Government Policies With Secret Racist Origins
Continue Reading BelowAdvertisement Another barrier to benefits for Black people came in the form of the Work Incentive program of 1968, which introduced the work requirements you see in welfare and cash assistance to this day. Sounds reasonable maybe, but Black people were more likely to be out of a job. We could probably find more examples of the government failing to give stuff indiscriminately, but let’s end with a story about the government taking things away: 1Modern G…
Read more4 Terrible Movie Franchises That Could Be Fixed With One Small Change (VIDEO)
Writer: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
Host: Jordan Breeding
Czar Of Audio-Visual Activities: Dave Brown
Editors: Jordan Breeding, David BrownCezary’s Twitter is riiiight here. Check out Jordan’s other work or connect on Twitter. Catch up with Dave Brown on Instagram.Be sure to subscribe to Cracked’s YouTube channelto check out episodes of our new and classic series, like Your Brain On Cracked, Honest Ads,Long Story Short(ish),Movies Remade For $20, Cracked Movie Club,Movie Math, Wa…
‘Party Down’ Knew What Toxic Fandom Was Before Anyone Else
It let its female stars—especially Lizzy Caplan—be unapologetically funny screw-ups at a time when many comedies relegated women to scolding and frowning at the men around them. And it completely skewered Martin Starr’s Roman, the kind of arrogant nerd who takes pride in, well, liking a TV show before it becomes popular. 2009 was a weird and confusing time for nerd-dom. You could call it the “LOL le epic bacon pwnz!!!1” period, if doing so didn’t cause physical pain, but we …
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Remembering The Cabbie Who Tossed A President Into Pig Poop
1837 was a tough time in America, and in many ways, it was the exact opposite of today. Today, we’re staring at inflation; in 1837, people had to deal with deflation. Today, housing prices keep soaring; in 1837, the real estate bubble burst, catastrophically. Today, we’ve got a president pushing large infrastructure bills, and in 1837, President Martin Van Buren moved to cut infrastructure spending—including spending on the National Road, U.S. 40. That majorly angered the pe…
Read more'Hawkeye' Continues Marvel Shows' Love Of Mystery Villains
Continue Reading BelowAdvertisement Episode 3 introduced us to Maya Lopez, AKA Echo. In the comics, Maya became “ward” to Fisk after her father’s death, and the show gives us subtle suggestions that that’s the case here too. For one thing, Maya makes reference to the fact that a powerful “Uncle” is in charge of the Tracksuit Mafia. And in Maya’s flashback, we actually see the meaty paw of an unseen figure next to her dad, which pinches her on the cheek – presumably, that’s K…
Read more4 Spooky Glitches That Turn Games Into Horror Shows
1The Sims’ Demon BabiesThe Sims is a bestselling series about what it would feel like if God was stuck in the suburbs and none of his shitty children listened to him. You grow families, abandon them in pools, watch as they pee themselves, or sometimes help them. Mostly, you only redesign buildings and make sure you have just enough chairs.But sometimes, when two Sims fall in love, or you install a smut mod and they bang real nasty, one of them will get pregnant. With Satan’s…
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The Plan To Move The White House And Capitol To St. Louis (By Train)
Continue Reading BelowAdvertisement Reavis created a plan to disassemble the building into blocks, transport them by train to Missouri, and then reconstruct it in St. Louis. Same deal with the White House and several other federal buildings. You might think it would be easier to construct new buildings in St. Louis from scratch, but continuity was important when it came to selling people on the move. Other reasons for shifting the capital included the mosquitos that infested…
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Want to Save Movie Theaters? Make Them As Safe As Possible
The study, commissioned by Quorum, Cultique, and Fanthropology (which frankly all sound like shell companies created by Bond villains) surveyed “more than 2,500 pre-pandemic moviegoers” and found that 49% of them no longer go to the movies at all. 59% of those “former” theatergoers said that “they don’t feel safe in theaters.” Of these disenchanted film fans, more than half said that they would either be “fine” or even “more comfortable” with a mandate requiring them to show…
Read moreWhy Won't Americans Drink Tea?
“I don’t want anything caffeinated do you have any Peppermint Wimp Juice? Oh, do you serve Sweet Wimp Juice? I’ll take that then- one Sweet Wimp Juice.” Baohm/PixabayAmericans drink coffee because of toxic masculimp juice. Continue Reading BelowAdvertisement Of course, it’s a bit hyperbolic to say that loving trucks and misogyny is the only reason Americans love tea. Surely there were those whole tea parties in Boston and Charleston, right? And that’s a good point- tea consum…
Read moreWhy ‘Team America’ Did Matt Damon Dirty
Parker and Stone were first motivated to write a puppet musical by aBritish TV show from the’60scalled Thunderbirds, a campy sci-fi program about a family of rescue pilots set in the future. Continue Reading BelowAdvertisement The show was shot using a technique invented by program creator Gerry Anderson called “Supermarionation,” where pre-recorded vocal lines triggered sensors in the heads of carefully crafted marionettes and moved the puppets’ lips in sync with the dialog…
Read moreThe 'Batman' Restaurant Diners Need To Be A Wayne To Afford
Continue Reading BelowAdvertisement There’s also a cocktail bar run by Poison Ivy — and really who wouldn’t want a drink prepared by someone whose first name is literally “Poison” — and a section called the “Monarch Theatre” that is shrouded in mystery and hopefully doesn’t involve the staff pretending to gun down your loved ones in cold blood.Since it opened earlier this year, Park Row has garnered some favorable reviews. Though The Guardian’s write-up tore it to shreds, ca…
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Kit Kats Are Made Of … Kit Kats?
It may have taken 90 years, one extremely catchy jingle, and several ultra-cursed posts depicting candy lovers – nay, monsters – chomping into the side of the chocolatey treat with reckless abandon rather than breaking off a piece of that Kit Kat bar like a civilized human being, it seems we finally know what’s inside our favorite candy: Kit Kats are comprised of …. more Kit Kats! Well, at least in the UK. In yet another instance of life imitating art – by “life” we mean “Ki…
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5 Times Celebs Were Linked By Surreal Connections
1Samuel L. Jackson Was An Usher For Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s FuneralBuilding a respectable resume in the 1990s, Samuel L. Jackson developed a rep for blunt, no-BS roles. We are obligated to honor this masterpiece (censored to protect your fragile sensibilities): Continue Reading BelowAdvertisement All those over-the-top roles pale in comparison to the role he played in April 1968. Approached on the campus of Morehouse College (Martin Luther King’s alma mater) by associate…
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We've Found Hundreds Of These Weird Artifacts, And No One Knows What They Are
Poke around on the web, and you’ll keep hearing about “archaeological mysteries,” and we’ll be honest with you: These mysteries are usually pretty lame. The archaeologists put out a statement about having not determined the nature of some broken pot or rock, and then websites will blow this up as though it’s a crazy conundrum. Yeah, the object is unexplained, but that’s nowhere as surprising as the writers claim. Just because something’s unidentified doesn’t mean it’s inexpl…
Read more5 Disgusting Ways Cheaters Ruined Games For Everyone
5New World Players Take Every Chance To Steal LandNew World is the huge multiplayer game from Amazon, with a sky-high player base and an even higher number of absurd game-breaking bugs. Like the title indicates, the game is all about ravaging and conquering the new world … sorry, we mean “settling”the new world. And this opened the game to the most thematic of exploits. Right before a turf war, players will file reports complaining about their opponents. Thanks to these repo…
Read moreThe Pubebergs (AKA Addams Family Values) (PODCAST)
Hosts: Jordan Breeding, Jesse Eisemann, and Ali Gordon
Editors: Brandon O’Neill, Jordan Breeding Check out Jordan’s other work or connect on Twitter. Also catch Jesse and Ali on Twitter. Be sure to check out Brandon’s bandWine & Warpaint.Be sure to subscribe to Cracked’s YouTube channelto check out episodes of our new and classic series, like Your Brain On Cracked, Honest Ads,Long Story Short(ish),Movies Remade For $20, Cracked Movie Club,Movie Math, Wait A Minute… What?…
How 'Arcane' Succeeded Where Most Video Game Adaptations Fail
Continue Reading BelowAdvertisement Arcane did a lot of things right that most game adaptations fail miserably at. Right off the bat, something that strikes anyone viewing it, whether you’ve spent time in Summoner’s Rift or not, is how it makes absolutely no reference to the actual game of League at all. Sure, the characters are pulled from it, but no one ever looks at the camera and says, “I’m used to being in the jungle.” No mention is made of a nexus, towers, minions- as …
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