But the mullet has not come to just give straight dudes a new way of expressing themselves. Activists everywhere have already recognized that the mullet will soon become the haircut of the people’s revolution. They will don the ‘do of the broletariat and join together in the class struggle to eliminate pre-covid prejudices — including that anyone who wears a mullet has enough plaid shirts to outfit an entire lumber yard. The mullet has already become such a powerful symbol of change that North Korea has banned it (and tight jeans) as being too subversive for its totalitarian regime.
For the past year, we have had our front-facing work laptop while our backs faced our home, the place of leisure and relaxation. Like with the mullet, those two worlds have now merged irrevocably. But our corporate and political overlords want to pretend like nothing ever happened, urging us back to commute schedules and timed bathroom breaks. But we will not forget. We shall don the mullet to show that while we too look towards a fresh start, we will continue to carry the tangled mess of change on our shoulders. That many may be keen to trade the stale air of our apartments for that of stale coffee and industrial, but that that does not mean they’re willing to let their lives be all-business, all the time, again. And that’s the true political power of the coming mullet craze. Wearing it will show those in power that, sure, we’ll take their business in the front, but no longer in the back.
Or, y’know, it’s just a weird haircut to get during our hot dirtbag summer phase.
For more tangents in the front, more tangents in the back, do follow Cedric on Twitter.
Top Image: PXhere/Alan Levine, Miley Cyrus/Instagram
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