The man is despondent; he opens the window, prepared to jump out. That’s impossible. “Wait, hold on, let me finish before you jump. You need to make the cast of Friends seem funny, yes. But you’ll also need to frame all of the exposition and much of the comedy around features of an operating system, and you also need to write dialogue about Bill Gates.” The man jumps out of the window, but he’s clearly too unlucky to get out of this. He survives, and his manager tracks him down in the hospital and makes him write the Windows 95 Friends script using nothing but blinking as communication from his full-body cast.
This damn thing goes on forever and hits on literally every joke you would have guessed. Confusion about literal windows versus Windows the OS, Aniston sitting at the computer with the focused, deliberate posture of a movie “hacker,” and Matthew Perry probably being on just the right amount of cocaine to get through a Windows 95 tutorial video. The best way to experience this one is to just click through and land where the madness takes you. It’s a fever dream of wildly outdated features and tech, uninterested acting, all culminating with an outrageous cast of characters and a thirty-minute sitcom that is, well, honestly, still better than any episode of Friends.
Jordan Peele: Child Narc
Before he was making us laugh our asses off or scaring the crap out of us, Jordan Peele had a much more important message to get across: smoking sucks, man! A young Peele appeared in a campaign appealing to the class of 2000, imploring that they graduate “smoke-free.”
Among the highlights of this campaign against smoking is a part where they celebrate a bunch of kids’ quest to get cigarette machines banned. To be honest, I think this is total BS. I don’t even smoke, and I love those machines. I bet plenty of you reading this aren’t old enough to have ever seen one of these bad boys in a shady dive bar or restaurant, but they’re exactly what they sound like. Forget plopping in some quarters for a bag of Bugles; plop a Sacagewea in for some goddamn Cowboy Killers instead. There is something so distinctly degenerate about a cigarette vending machine that’s hard not to love. Unless you’re famous actor, comedian, director Jordan Peele. In which case, you want them wiped from the damn planet.
Beyond that, the entire segment is mostly just them repeating the same vague, almost cultlike phrase: “Use the facts: Exercise your power.” Then, some bad boy kids will try to look cool while hanging out in a computer lab and telling you not to smoke, when the entire time, you’re probably thinking how much cooler it would be if that kid was ripping a lung dart and playing a bootleg copy of Wolfenstein 3D that he installed on the computer lab machine.
Top Image: CBC
4 Weird Early Celeb Hosting Gigs
Source: Pinoy Daily News
![Disclaimer](<a href="https://rebrand.ly/LazadaSalePh"><img src="http://getfreefollowers.net/images/lazhorizontal.jpeg" /></a>){kind=link}
0 Comments