This is the version of the shirt above if the lunatic designing it took a graphic design class in junior college. But I really needed to pull this one because of that absolute banger in the middle: “PEARL HARBOR INSIDE JOB.” I’d like to think I’m pretty plugged into the craziest nonsense that the internet has to throw my way, but I’ve never even heard this one. Is this a popular theory? At some point, everything becomes an inside job if you try hard enough.
Somewhere, someone’s saying, “Oh, really, you actually think that Joey Chestnut is up there actually eating all of those hot dogs every July 4th? You goddamn sheep! The government installed a grinder inside of his asshole that chews up the dogs the second they drop down from his mouth and into his asshole because that’s how the anatomy and body actually work. Hot dog goes into the mouth and drops into your asshole pocket to hang out before poop time. But, anyway, I’m getting sidetracked because there’s so much you don’t know, but Joey Chestnut is a sleeper cell government ploy faking hot dog eating to establish a Gulf of Tonkin-like scenario where we will start World War III from Coney Island in 2025 when Joey Chestnut kills Kobayashi Highlander-style to ring in the new globalist conflict. Sheeple.”
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