Centuries-Old Rich Snobs Are Why European Food Is Spice-less
You know how white people can’t handle spice? Shut up, yes you do. I don’t care if you’re outraged because you’re white. I’m white. No, it doesn’t matter how many habanero ghost pepper death sauce wings you put down that one time in college. We, as white people talking amongst ourselves, know that accomplishment doesn’t really count. No, stop it. Don’t bring up the time you ate a Carolina Reaper without puking and it’s got two million views on YouTube. No one except your friend Derek has cared since 2007.
The reason why you, a white person, are a punch line (completely unrelated to Derek’s hazy memory) is because of colonialism and classism. Used to be, you had to work a bit harder than pushing a cart up aisle seven to get some spices. Cinnamon wasn’t always on your cereal and paprika wasn’t always on your Doritos. Those spices come from somewhere, and that somewhere is (again) not Indiana. Could different people from different places with different crops simply reach a trade agreement, resulting in some kind of cultural exchange where everyone benefited by making their food taste better? No! This is white people we’re talking about! There was war and violence!
See, what spices do is add depth and complexity to dishes. And the Europeans who colonized India and the Americas desperately wanted some depth and complexity in their dishes. Only it came with a catch — if the poors could have it, then no thank you, please.
As soon as these spices that people fought wars over were readily available and affordable for European lower classes, everyone started focusing on letting one taste shine. Instead of slow-cooking spinach and farmer’s cheese in a complex blend of perfectly calculated flavors for hours until you have saag paneer, you throw some ham and cheese on bread and call it a day. Instead of pulverizing a bunch of vegetables and peppers into a salsa and dousing the resulting blend on a skirt steak to marinade, you simply broil the steak with a little salt and pepper and claim you’re accentuating the beefy flavors of the beef. See, it’s not about feeding people a good meal. It’s about knowing that your meat is so good, poor people can’t possibly appreciate it or afford it. You gotta put your meat front and center, let it shine by itself, and let the poor people know they don’t deserve it. That’s right, put your meat front and center. Let everyone appreciate your meat. Now, let’s sprinkle on some cayenne.
Chris Corlew enjoys spicy-but-oh-no-not-too-spicy food, because he is a white person. You can hear him play music or talk about poetry, or find more food takes on Twitter.
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