Behold The Forgotten Nightmare That Was ‘Shrek The Musical’

It’s been 20 years since the loveable green ogre Shrek and his amusing pal Donkey first graced the big screen. Naturally, the internet has chosen to celebrate this milestone with a bunch of rancorous arguing that began with a Guardian editorial criticizing the film and was promptly followed by a social media backlash led by passionate Shrek-heads. While we’re steering clear of showering in the metaphorical mud of this particular controversy, we would like to talk about one of the creepiest tie-ins Shrek ever spawned — and no, we don’t mean the “surgery”-themed game in which you remove foreign objects from Shrek’s disembodied head at his gleeful instruction.

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We’re talking about Shrek the Musical, the 2008 Broadway adaptation featuring live actors dressed as the beloved animated characters. We probably use the “porn parody” comparison too often, but take a look at this cast and tell us that their make-up wasn’t applied in the back of an unmarked van in the San Fernando Valley.