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You'd Probably Hate Living Like a Billionaire

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Now my dear reader, if you saw this (admittedly very hyperbolic) itinerary and found yourself thinking “Hell yeah, measuring everything I own? Sign me up!” by all means, give this theoretical billionaire schedule a try. I’m the writer of an article you’re probably skimming while riding the train or taking a dump – not a cop. Odds are you’ll be irritable, exhausted, and salivating Homer Simpson-style at the sight of any morsel of food (maybe you could be the first non-cartoon character to unironically say “mmmm, 64 slices of American Cheese!”) but as long as you’re not being a Bezos-level a-hole, get down with your bad, albeit very hungry and tired, self. 

All jokes aside, having aspirational figures, even in our adulthood, is never a bad thing in this highly-cursed timeline. Even at 25 years old, I still have a framed portrait of Dolly Parton, the country singer, vaccine champion, and the only thing America can seemingly agree on, hanging in my living room that reads “What Would Dolly Do?” a mantra that I use to remind myself to treat everyone with kindness, compassion, and to never take myself too seriously (although considering I make bad puns on the internet for a living, that last point probably isn’t super necessary).

If your Dolly Parton is Elon Musk, Mark Cuban, Warren Buffett, or hell, Jeff Bezos, who am I to judge – well, maybe a little bit on that first and last one, but that’s beside the point. While each of these power players may have their own respective gems of good advice, daily routines, just like everything else, are not one-size-fits-all – or even one-size-fits-billionaire, as you can clearly see through this absolute abomination of a schedule. As the old adage goes, different strokes for different folks. Aside from remembering that what may help skyrocket these power players to ungodly riches may not be conducive to your personal success, it’s also important to remember that no matter what you do, you probably won’t ever be a billionaire. While according to Financial Samurai, your overall chances of becoming a millionaire, with an m, range from between 6% to 22.3%, a lofty, albeit relatively attainable goal, joining the 10-figure club is a much, much harder feat. 

There are roughly 7.9 billion people in the world. There are only 2,755 billionaires, per Forbes. That puts you, me, and pretty much everyone reading this at a 0.00003487341% chance of joining the exclusive billionaire club. In other words, try new things, take advice from your role models, and work hard for your goals, but at the end of the day, the best schedule for facilitating success is the one that makes you the happiest and healthiest, regardless of what “educational DVDs” Bill Gates watches each morning. 

Top Image: Shutterstock/Shutterstock/Shutterstock/Shutterstock

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ on TikTok as @HuntressThompson_, and on Twitter @TennesAnyone.

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You'd Probably Hate Living Like a Billionaire
Source: Pinoy Daily News

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