But here’s the thing about The Oblivious Parent: unless you’ve unwittingly wandered into the pilot episode of a True Detective season, you’re probably fine not doing anything. That parent seems oblivious because they have different boundaries for their kids than you for yours. All those examples I listed? I’ve actually seen them. The kids were a couple of years older than mine, and all of them either did the right thing of their own volition or took minimal chiding from their parents to do the right thing. In all three of those situations, I would have been awkward or rude if I said anything.
This, of course, is not to say the oblivious parent from our proverbial pilot for True Detective doesn’t exist. Shitty parents are out there, and non-shitty parents who lose track of their kids are out there. In fact, being either one of those parents only takes about ten seconds of your time if you’re not careful. What I’m saying is don’t assume any parent you see is a shitty parent unless they’re really giving off red flags. Have some faith in your neighbors.
How To Approach Them:
The most important thing here is not judging. Picture yourself on the other side: you got caught up responding to a work email for like 30 seconds, and some parent came up to you, dragging your crying child by the arm, saying, “I caught him picking at wild mushrooms.” Your initial response might be gratitude, but it might also be indignation or embarrassment (that you mask with indignation). “How dare you grab my child?” you say with the cadence of a righteously angry Joan Harris while having the insecurities of a Season 1 Peggy Olson.
But then again, what if they are a seriously negligent parent? That’s a really hard judgment to make, but in my experience, one you really have to know before you leap to. It’s important to remember that everyone is going through something; everyone is living their own lives. Just because I don’t trust my three-year-old to not leap off a jungle gym and into a pair of broken legs doesn’t mean others are wrong for trusting their three-year-olds to remain safe. Unless you witness some truly heinous shit, it’s best to let other parents parent the way they parent. You never want to be the slapper from NBC’s The Slap:
Starring Slapary Quinto
If it seems like this entry (and column) is full of a bunch of contradictory advice, that’s because people and situations are complicated. Yeah, this is a whole column stereotyping parents on the playground, but the truth is, you kinda just have to learn to adjust on the fly. The terrifying thing is that you have to also teach your kid how to adjust on the fly while also interacting with other parents and kids learning the same thing. Up top, I said I wanted to help other parents be less afraid of everything than I was/am. Sorry, “less afraid” doesn’t mean “unafraid.” And much like how your kid keeps getting better and better at climbing those weird little rock-climbing walls like some sort of miniature Tom Cruise, so too will you get better at interacting with other parents.
If you can’t find Chris Corlew on a playground, you can find him on Twitter. He also reads poems and writes songs.
Top image: pxfuel
5 Types of Parents You Meet At The Playground
Source: Pinoy Daily News
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