Though intriguing in appearance, it didn’t fulfill the second word of the abbreviation UCP. Besides the obvious fact that pixels do not occur in nature, it failed at its one job. While blending in equally well in woodland, desert, or urban terrain, the pixel pattern did not blend in well in any one environment to any great degree, whether it was Mosul or downtown San Diego. That’s to say, it sucked everywhere you went. It did not break up the wearer’s silhouette against backgrounds nor flatten their more prominent features, and an insurgent spotting your butt at 20 yards is the last thing any grunt wants. Instead of concealing the contours of the human body, it made them stand out. Unless you were camouflaging yourself in a first-person shooter video game in 1998, wrapping yourself in gray pixels was useless. All the UCP project proved is that there is no such thing as universally appropriate camouflage.
Call it style over function, marketing over common sense, the military-industrial complex run amok, or sartorial malpractice, just don’t call it effective. In 2014, the US Army announced that they were dumping the digital look for a simpler, more effective camo they had been sitting on since 2002. The new pattern of the US military as of 2014, Scorpion, even has a cooler name. UCP had, by all metrics, failed miserably. Though it had acquired a positive reputation among civvies, it was less well-received by those forced to wear it day in and day out and were painfully aware of its strategic vulnerabilities. As one member of the US Army memorialized, “This uniform is so trash, Helen Keller could see you coming from 100 meters away.” The supposed future of covert military gear is now bargain-bin rejects in army surplus stores.
Cast aside by underpaid military personnel under the blistering sun of Iraq, the digital camo is now left to patriotic housewives and office drones playacting as Rambo at the paintball range. Take solace that the shoddy pattern will function more successfully at your Pilates session or local strip club than it ever did on Mesopotamian battlefields. Because there are some very real, desperate times when you absolutely need people to spot your ass at 20 yards.
Top Image: Freddie.rios/Wiki Commons
Related: The Space Force’s Jungle Camo Uniforms Really Suck
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The U.S.' Crappy Camo Pattern Which Didn't Work (But Still Got Used)
Source: Pinoy Daily News
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