Ah, the Olympics. A time of worldwide togetherness, a celebration of that which truly unites us as a species: bigotry, corporate greed, and an irrational belief in our own immortality. Wait, that can’t be right. Isn’t this supposed to be a puff piece about Jesse Owens embarrassing Hitler? Maybe Tommie Smith and John Carlos ending racism? Are we even going to make any Ryan Lochte jokes? *checks with editors* Ryan Lochte MISSED THE TEAM THIS YEAR? Christ, of all the bad things that happened in 2020, that might be the worst.
Okay, fine. I’m skeptical, but let’s see what could possibly be worse for the Olympics than no Ryan Lochte.
Sha’Carri Richardson Gets Forced Out Thanks To Arcane Drug Rules
We live in a shitty time where most news stories can be met with a “you gotta be kidding me” response at best, but Sha’Carri Richardson’s story is layers upon layers of head-shaking WTFery. Remember when the ref in Air Bud says “there’s no rule saying a dog can’t play basketball” and then the dog plays basketball, even though he’s clearly a defensive liability? This is like the Bizarro version of that, where everyone looks at an outdated rule that serves no purpose, and instead of reflecting on how that rule is bogus and could hurt someone, everyone pushes their glasses up on their nose and says “it’s clearly stated in Section IV, Paragraph 1b, Line 5, that
A little introduction to Sha’Carri Richardson: she’s 21 years old and already the sixth-fastest woman of all time and fourth-fastest in American history. She broke the NCAA record for fastest 100 meters when she was 19. That’s Section I, Paragraphs 1 and 2, Line Shut TF Up on her Wikipedia page. She’s a singular talent in the 100 and 200 meters, and she does it in style: long, decorated nails and a glorious trail of fire-colored hair. She’s openly and unapologetically queer — in her girlfriend’s words, “loud and vibrant.”
If I can editorialize: she’s rad as hell. She’s the exact mix of insanely talented and super charismatic that should lead to her having a Big Moment at the Olympics. Think Michael Johnson in 1996 breaking the 200 meters world record in gold shoes, or Kerri Strug’s vault on a bum ankle in 1996, or Derice Bannock and his team shouldering their bobsled over the finish line in 1988. Okay, okay, maybe I was eight years old in 1996 and have some formative memories of the Olympics being a four-hour drive from my house, but the point is: Sha’Carri Richardson is super cool, and she should be on her way to a capstone achievement.
Instead, tragedy struck: her mother passed away. Imagine what it takes to be the best in any field—long hours of endless training, the pressure of being a worldwide standard-bearer, all while being barely old enough to buy lotto tickets and porn. Then add — as a nice little mental health-wrecking garnish — your mom dying right before your big moment. That’ll make anyone reach for something that offers a brief respite from reality, which Richardson found in the form of weed.
If you know anything about weed, you know it makes you want to do the exact opposite of run really fast, but it also won’t give you the kind of bloated, dehydrated nausea that downing a bottle of bourbon induces, meaning you can run really fast tomorrow. Some shadowy organization called the World Anti-Doping Agency, however, is super not chill about athletes “partaking of the herb,” as the most annoying guy you went to college with would describe it. Richardson was suspended from individual competition and deliberately left off of the relay team, eliminating her from the Olympics entirely. This is after she did the quote-unquote honorable thing and admitted what drugs she used and why.
5 Reasons The 2021 Olympics Are Shaping Up To Be Trash
Source: Pinoy Daily News
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