Paula Abdul Won’t Stop Saying She Was In An Entirely Undocumented Plane Crash
It’s kind of forgotten just how weird Paula Abdul’s career was. A successful choreographer who self-funded her first recordings, she shot to fame after releasing a music video where she sang about her love for a rapping cartoon cat. She then disappeared for years before resurfacing as a tipsy, contestant-dating judge on the world’s biggest singing show. Paula Abdul is interesting. Which makes it all the weirder that she keeps talking about a plane crash that really doesn’t seem like it happened.
According to Abdul, her mid-’90s career disappearance was prompted by a 1992 plane crash. In a story related on numerous talk shows, Abdul claimed to be in a small plane from St. Louis to Denver when both engines burst into flames (Abdul was probably playing “Straight Up,” the most fire track of the late ’80s). The plane was forced to crash-land in an Iowa cornfield, doubtless converting it into delicious popcorn in the process. The seven passengers survived, although Abdul was left with life-changing injuries and forced to cancel the rest of her tour.
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Map perverts will be aware that Iowa isn’t really on the route from St. Louis to Denver, but there are way bigger problems with this story. According to a terrifyingly detailed Jezebel investigation, there appears to be no record of a plane crash fitting this description in the early ‘90s. And plane crashes are like escaped circus lions — people really tend to notice them, especially when they’re carrying ‘80s superstar Paula Abdul. Very few corn farmers will watch the burning corpse of MC Skat Kat crash through their barn roof, then just shrug and never bring it up again.
Abdul says she somehow persuaded the media to keep quiet about the incident (to avoid the shame of being in a plane crash, presumably), but that doesn’t even come close to clearing things up. Every plane crash in America is legally required to be documented by the National Transportation Safety Board, but their database has no record of an accident matching Abdul’s description. And remember, this wasn’t some minor “oh this gauge is malfunctioning, let’s land early” situation. An entire wing was on fire! Did Abdul and her backup dancers just shove the plane into a deep lake and walk away or something? We hate to be negative, but either her record label infiltrated the US government to pull off a Roswell-level cover-up, or else Paula Abdul has been discussing a completely fictional plane crash for 20 years.
Alice Marble: Tennis Superstar And Wonder Woman Writer (But Not A Secret Agent)
If you lived in the 1930s (and our market research shows that most of you did) Alice Marble was one of the biggest athletes in the world. Marble won 18 Grand Slam tennis titles, making herself a household name in the process. Instantly lapsed into a boredom coma at a mention of sports? Well, let us slam a syringe of geek juice directly into your heart by mentioning that she was also one of the original writers for the Wonder Woman comics, which got a big boost from having a famous athlete on the masthead. Marble also parlayed her fame into regular radio and TV appearances, befriended stars like Clark Gable, became a fixture in high society, and had a long relationship with one of the wealthiest men in the world. And that still wasn’t enough for one life — she was also a talented singer who performed numerous concerts and later became a high-profile voice against segregation in tennis.
4 Ridiculous Lies … From People With Even More Ridiculous Lives
Source: Pinoy Daily News
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