EDITOR’S NOTE: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT USE HOUSEHOLD CLEANING AGENTS INCLUDING THE MR. CLEAN MAGIC ERASER TO WHITEN YOUR TEETH, UNLESS YOU’RE TRYING TO BLOW YOUR ENTIRE LIFE SAVINGS ON A TRIP TO THE ER WHERE THE MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS WILL ALL BE JUDGING YOU FOR YOUR TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE CHOICES. DON’T BE A DUMBASS.
On today’s installment of reasons why I am deeply ashamed to be a Zoomer, it seems my generation has swapped our infamous penchant for munching on Tide Pods for yet another moronic habit involving ingesting dangerous cleaning agents — using the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser as a terrifying guerilla teeth-whitening tool.
It all started last month when TikTok-er @theheatherdunn took to the video-sharing app to disclose her incredibly alarming oral health care routine, namely, blatantly ignoring the advice of her dentist and employing the Procter & Gamble cleaning apparatus as the ultimate forbidden white strip, scrubbing her teeth with its absolutely delicious ingredients including carcinogenic formaldehyde, and fertilizer/flame retardent staple, melamine. Yum.
“Step number one, I don’t use any fluoride at all. When the dentist says, ‘use your fluoride, don’t rinse,’ umm… no, I don’t do that,” she says in the clip, which has garnered more than 255,000 likes and a text warning label, informing users that “the action in this video could result in serious injury.” “Number two, I do something called ‘oil pulling,’ I look it up on YouTube and I use coconut oil,” she continued. “Number three, and here is where we all gasp. This is a Magic Eraser. Yeah, that’s what I said. I take a little, tiny piece of it and wet it, don’t touch your gums… I’ve been doing it for, like, two years.”
@theheatherdunn
Although in anticipation of the backlash to her video @theheatherdunn boldly claims her dentists are fine with these gut-wrenching techniques, allegedly telling her that despite putting toxic chemicals inside of her mouth, she, by some miraculous stroke of dumb luck, has the ‘healthiest, strongest, cleanest teeth,'” not everyone is on board with Magic Eraser teeth whitening. Since the video took off, several dentists – perhaps more than 9 out of 10 — along with anyone with a few functioning brain cells, evidently have some choice words regarding her horrifying methods, most of which can be summed up by four words: Don’t f—— do this.
“Excuse me is that a Magic Eraser?” said YouTuber The Bentist, who reviewed the viral TikTok as a part of his “Orthodontist Reacts” series. “Like, she’s afraid of fluoride but she’s cool with using a Magic Eraser on her teeth. A Magic Eraser is actually made of melamine foam. It’s basically foam that’s hard as glass and acts as a really abrasive sandpaper, meaning, yeah, your teeth are white because you scrubbed all the enamel off. So, in fact, no, don’t do this.”
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