So, which toxic relationships should be cut out of our lives according to the NYT? Abusers? Takers? Anyone who has tried to get you into multi-level marketing? Sure, whatever. According to Kate Murphy, regular NYT op-ed writer and author of a top 2,000,000 bestselling book on Amazon, the friends who are truly not worth bothering with are those coping with obesity, substance abuse problems, and depression. Which, after the year we’ve just had, by my calculations, comes to … carry the five … literally every single human being on the planet. Murphy insists we cut the people who need our affection the most out of our lives so that we instead can “consort with studious, kind and enterprising people,” quality “first-tier” friends that will guarantee a maximum return on emotional investment Mean Girls-style.
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These are, to put it like an NYT columnist, some real third-tier opinions. So to back up her mercilessly mercenary advocacy for social climbing, Murphy links to research she claims proves that struggling friends are worthless friends because their “prevailing moods, values and behaviors are likely to become your own” — leading me to assume that she spends all of her free time mingling at Patrick Bateman auditions. The paragraph in question was eventually removed by the NYT when throngs of people with still-beating hearts pointed out that her “science” was as flimsy as the excuses people will use to not have to hang out with NYT journalists this summer. One of her main research pillars, which supposedly proves that a majority of relationships are selfish and one-sided anyway, was nothing more than a self-reported survey of 84 undergrad students asked to rank their besties as ruthlessly as possible.
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