6 People Who Failed So Hard Their Names Became Insults

The real weird part of the story is why people thought Fartboy was a real guy: Something must have been lost in all the confusion of Napoleon conquering Europe, getting defeated, then briefly coming back again, like when they try to reboot a famous TV show from decades ago and no one cares.

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The Father Of Pandering Was Actually A Creepy Uncle

Pandarus was an important general on the side of Troy, when they fought against the Greeks in the Trojan War. He was the mentor to a warrior prince named Troilus — whose name just means “Troy man,” so we guess he was the Trojan version of Captain America. And just like Captain America, Troilus was a lover, not just a fighter. A (probably fictional) story of his romance with Pandarus’ niece Cressida became a popular story in the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, that even got turned into a Shakespeare play. 

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Shakespeare being interested in the story starts to make sense when you hear that his version of the story was a forbidden romance between rowdy young boy and a high-class girl from two different noble families … and yes, the play was called Troilus and Cressida, why would you think it was any other play by the Bard?

John Opie

The Crack’d Almanack had a bunch of woodcuts showing scenes from this and Romeo and Juliet side-by-side.

Pandarus is an important part of Troilus and Cressida’s story. He introduces the couple, and when he plays matchmaker, he plays to win: Chaperoning their dates, keeping their flirtation on the DL, pushing them closer together, then snooping around trying to catch them in the act. In Shakespeare’s version, he even says “here’s a nice comfy bed for youse twos to ram jam on” — though he doesn’t just come out and say that, because this is Shakespeare.